Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Made a very long killing spree.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Survived Friday.
Totaled 30 cars.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Wore all three outfits.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Sucked down your own piss.
Survived Wednesday.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Survived Tuesday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Kicked open a door.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Gained your first dog helper.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Reunited with an old flame.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)