Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Survived Friday.
Totaled 30 cars.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Survived Wednesday.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Wore all three outfits.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Made a very long killing spree.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Sucked down your own piss.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Survived Tuesday.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Kicked open a door.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.