Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Wore all three outfits.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Read the newspaper every day.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Survived Friday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Survived Thursday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Survived Wednesday.
Sucked down your own piss.
Survived Tuesday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Kicked open a door.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Survived Saturday.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Totaled 30 cars.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Finished all seven days.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.