Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Survived Wednesday.
Survived Tuesday.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Sucked down your own piss.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Gained your first dog helper.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Kicked open a door.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Survived Friday.
Survived Saturday.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Totaled 30 cars.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Read the newspaper every day.
Wore all three outfits.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Finished all seven days.
Survived Thursday.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.