Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Read the newspaper every day.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Survived Friday.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Survived Thursday.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Survived Wednesday.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Wore all three outfits.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Survived Tuesday.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Totaled 30 cars.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Made a very long killing spree.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Sucked down your own piss.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Survived Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Gained your first dog helper.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Kicked open a door.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Rescued your loyal companion.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Reunited with an old flame.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.