Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Saturday.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Friday.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Wore all three outfits.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Survived Thursday.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Made a very long killing spree.
Totaled 30 cars.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Sucked down your own piss.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Survived Tuesday.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Gained your first dog helper.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Kicked open a door.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Reunited with an old friend.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.