Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Made a very long killing spree.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Wore all three outfits.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Sucked down your own piss.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Survived Saturday.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Survived Friday.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Totaled 30 cars.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Gained your first dog helper.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Survived Tuesday.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Survived Monday.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Kicked open a door.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.