Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Wore all three outfits.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Totaled 30 cars.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Read the newspaper every day.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Survived Friday.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Survived Thursday.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Sucked down your own piss.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Survived Wednesday.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Survived Tuesday.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Made a very long killing spree.
Gained your first dog helper.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Kicked open a door.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.