Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Survived Friday.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Sucked down your own piss.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Kicked open a door.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Survived Wednesday.
Wore all three outfits.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Survived Tuesday.
Totaled 30 cars.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with an old friend.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)