Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Read the newspaper every day.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Survived Friday.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Survived Thursday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Totaled 30 cars.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Survived Wednesday.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Wore all three outfits.
Survived Tuesday.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Sucked down your own piss.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Kicked open a door.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.