Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Totaled 30 cars.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Survived Saturday.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Survived Friday.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Made a very long killing spree.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Wore all three outfits.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Survived Tuesday.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Sucked down your own piss.
Kicked open a door.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old friend.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.