Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Survived Friday.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Made a very long killing spree.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Totaled 30 cars.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Survived Wednesday.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Wore all three outfits.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Survived Tuesday.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Sucked down your own piss.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Survived Monday.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Kicked open a door.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old friend.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)