Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Wore all three outfits.
Sucked down your own piss.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Totaled 30 cars.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Made a very long killing spree.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Survived Friday.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Survived Wednesday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Survived Tuesday.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Kicked open a door.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Read the newspaper every day.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.