Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 20-25 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Totaled 30 cars.
Finished all seven days.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Survived Saturday.
Survived Friday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Made a very long killing spree.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Survived Thursday.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Read the newspaper every day.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Gained your first dog helper.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Wore all three outfits.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Survived Tuesday.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Survived Monday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Sucked down your own piss.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Kicked open a door.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Reunited with an old enemy.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old friend.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Rescued your loyal companion.