Here is the full list of all 24 Jazzpunk: Director's Cut achievements. It takes around 2-3 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
Find and utilize a bidet
Rescue the drowning man in the swimming pool
Land awkwardly while diving at the pool
Collect all 8 spiders in the restaurant
Apply lipstick VERY generously to your face
Smuggle a carrier pigeon into the next level
Dial all phone menu options
Assist a saliva deficient individual by fulfilling their stationary needs
Degauss 4 undercover agents in the park
Dial various four letter words into the Nippon Telnet phone terminal
Spray 3 people with pheromones
Consume vast quantities of jelly to fulfill ethical responsibilities
Serve a bloody mary
Win a round of pillow fight
Get kissed by an unhygienic individual on two separate occasions
Scratch 2 compact discs in the bachelor pad
Explore other guest rooms at the resort
Kiss 3 people while wearing lipstick
Discovered all of the artifacts buried in sand
Visit all travel destinations in the world
Shatter all vases in the shop
Talk to 3 inanimate cardboard boxes
Consume one brain steeped sandwich
Defeat a microscopic squadron of bacteriophage