Here is the full list of all 13 Everything is Mayo achievements.
Wasting your life away by having over an hour in this game
Collect all the items and read every sign
Finish the game 3 times
Lose to final boss
Collect all the cans of sparkling water
Beat the game in 15 minutes or less
Find every object, kill every enemy, read every sign
Read a Sign
Read Every Sign
Have a punch fight with Jordan
Gain one level
Defeat the lord of mayo
Collect all available items