Here is the full list of all 10 The Stanley Parable achievements. It takes around 25-30 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
No seriously, we disabled it.
Quit the game and then start it again.
Complete The Stanley Parable.
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Click on door 430 five times.
This is an achievement.
Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
It is impossible to get this achievement.