Here is the full list of all 10 The Stanley Parable achievements. It takes around 25-30 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
No seriously, we disabled it.
Complete The Stanley Parable.
Quit the game and then start it again.
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Click on door 430 five times.
This is an achievement.
Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
It is impossible to get this achievement.