Here is the full list of all 24 Jazzpunk: Director's Cut achievements. It takes around 2-3 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
Scratch 2 compact discs in the bachelor pad
Apply lipstick VERY generously to your face
Land awkwardly while diving at the pool
Collect all 8 spiders in the restaurant
Defeat a microscopic squadron of bacteriophage
Dial all phone menu options
Dial various four letter words into the Nippon Telnet phone terminal
Degauss 4 undercover agents in the park
Talk to 3 inanimate cardboard boxes
Consume vast quantities of jelly to fulfill ethical responsibilities
Serve a bloody mary
Get kissed by an unhygienic individual on two separate occasions
Win a round of pillow fight
Find and utilize a bidet
Kiss 3 people while wearing lipstick
Explore other guest rooms at the resort
Discovered all of the artifacts buried in sand
Rescue the drowning man in the swimming pool
Visit all travel destinations in the world
Consume one brain steeped sandwich
Shatter all vases in the shop
Smuggle a carrier pigeon into the next level
Spray 3 people with pheromones
Assist a saliva deficient individual by fulfilling their stationary needs