Here is the full list of all 24 Jazzpunk: Director's Cut achievements. It takes around 2-3 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
Consume one brain steeped sandwich
Consume vast quantities of jelly to fulfill ethical responsibilities
Serve a bloody mary
Win a round of pillow fight
Explore other guest rooms at the resort
Spray 3 people with pheromones
Get kissed by an unhygienic individual on two separate occasions
Scratch 2 compact discs in the bachelor pad
Find and utilize a bidet
Kiss 3 people while wearing lipstick
Apply lipstick VERY generously to your face
Visit all travel destinations in the world
Dial various four letter words into the Nippon Telnet phone terminal
Shatter all vases in the shop
Smuggle a carrier pigeon into the next level
Defeat a microscopic squadron of bacteriophage
Discovered all of the artifacts buried in sand
Assist a saliva deficient individual by fulfilling their stationary needs
Talk to 3 inanimate cardboard boxes
Degauss 4 undercover agents in the park
Dial all phone menu options
Collect all 8 spiders in the restaurant
Rescue the drowning man in the swimming pool
Land awkwardly while diving at the pool