Here is the full list of all 24 Jazzpunk: Director's Cut achievements. It takes around 2-3 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
Consume vast quantities of jelly to fulfill ethical responsibilities
Serve a bloody mary
Find and utilize a bidet
Win a round of pillow fight
Scratch 2 compact discs in the bachelor pad
Defeat a microscopic squadron of bacteriophage
Discovered all of the artifacts buried in sand
Smuggle a carrier pigeon into the next level
Assist a saliva deficient individual by fulfilling their stationary needs
Spray 3 people with pheromones
Talk to 3 inanimate cardboard boxes
Degauss 4 undercover agents in the park
Dial all phone menu options
Dial various four letter words into the Nippon Telnet phone terminal
Shatter all vases in the shop
Consume one brain steeped sandwich
Collect all 8 spiders in the restaurant
Visit all travel destinations in the world
Rescue the drowning man in the swimming pool
Apply lipstick VERY generously to your face
Explore other guest rooms at the resort
Kiss 3 people while wearing lipstick
Get kissed by an unhygienic individual on two separate occasions
Land awkwardly while diving at the pool