Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Swallow every worm.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.