Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Swallow every worm.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Penetrate God.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.