Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Swallow every worm.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the left.
Move to the right.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.