Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Swallow every worm.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Penetrate God.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.