Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Swallow every worm.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the left.
Move to the right.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.