Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Swallow every worm.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.