Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Penetrate God.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Swallow every worm.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Save yourself for that special orgy.