Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Swallow every worm.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.