Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Swallow every worm.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.