Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Swallow every worm.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the left.
Move to the right.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Save yourself for that special orgy.