Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Penetrate God.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Swallow every worm.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.