Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Swallow every worm.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Move to the left.
Move to the right.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.