Here is the full list of all 28 Genital Jousting achievements.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Swallow every worm.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
You should see a doctor immediately.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Penetrate God.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Move to the right.
Move to the left.