A Game About Achieving Stuff DLC Achievements

• Title Drop

  You started the game! Thanks for clicking on buy!
• Existential Dread

  You are now aware of your own mortality (and your HP).
• Number Go Up

  The dopamine treadmill begins now. Watch the bar fill up!
• New Hire

  You upgraded a skill for the first time. We'll add it to your permanent record.
• Corporate Climber

  You upgraded 10 skills. Management is watching. Don't disappoint them.
• Overqualified

  You maxed out all skills. You are too good for this dungeon. You're fired.
• Corporate Bribery

  You gave the Janitor his missing limb.
• The First Step

  You unlocked 25 achievements. 'The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'
• Believe

  You unlocked 50 achievements. 'Believe you can and you're halfway there.' (Mathematically incorrect but nice sentiment).
• Persistence

  You unlocked 75 achievements. 'Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.'
• Dream Big

  You unlocked 100 achievements. 'If you can dream it you can do it.' You dreamt of digital trophies. Cute.
• The Grind

  You unlocked 150 achievements. 'The only way to do great work is to love what you do.' Do you love this? Really?
• Platinium! 100%!

  'It always seems impossible until it's done.' You did it. You finish the game.Now please go outside.
• RNGesus

  You found the RNG Department. Time to pray to the random number gods.
• Consumerism

  You found the Store. You are legally required to exit through here.
• Dead End

  You found the Funerarium. People are literally dying to get in here.
• The Real Monster

  You found the HR Department. The scariest room in the entire dungeon.
• Bookworm

  You found the Library. Try not to learn anything by accident.
• Robbery in Progress

  You found the Bank. Time to hoard your gold like a dragon with a 401k.
• Quarterly Bonus

  You found a Lootbox. Finally a return on your investment...
• Safety Violation

  You entered the Fire Hazard room. 0 days since the last workplace accident.
• Screenshot Time

  A perfect spot for a selfie, if phones existed.
• Sound Check

  You found the Music Room. The acoustics are perfect for echoing screams.
• Circular Economy

  You found the recycling room. We turn yesterday's heroes into tomorrow's skeleton minions. Very sustainable.
• Toddler

  Look at you go! Almost like a real person.
• Marathon

  My feet hurt just watching you.
• Skip

  You jumped 100 times. Boing. Boing. Boing.
• Space Program

  You jumped 1000 times. Houston, we have a problem. It's you.
• A Quick Jog

  Running away from your problems?
• Run Forest Run

  You just kept running...
• Boop

  You bonked a wall once. Physics: 1 You: 0.
• Headbanger

  You bonked a wall 50 times. You know you can just... turn?
• Concussion

  You bonked into a wall 100 times. Mind your head...
• Moonwalker

  Showing off are we? Or is your S key stuck?
• The Floor is Lava

  You spent 120 sec in the air. The floor is lava. Or maybe you just like furniture.
• Crab People

  Strafe left or right for a total of 60 seconds. Sidestepping your problems won't make them go away.
• Statue

  Stand perfectly still for 360 seconds.
• Pro Teabagger

  We don't condone this behavior. But here's an achievement anyway.
• Maximum Immersion

  You sat for 60 seconds straight. The action is literally non-stop.
• Swiss Cheese

  You found 10 secret rooms. You're just walking face-first into every wall aren't you?
• The Backrooms

  You found 100 secret rooms. You spend more time inside the walls than in the actual dungeon.
• Take A Seat

  You sat down once. Thrilling gameplay isn't it?
• Part of the Furniture

  You sat down 20 times. You live here now. Just stay there.
• Eco Friendly

  You turned off a torch. Saving energy one pixel at a time.
• Fade To Black

  You turned off 50 torches! Do you hate seeing the game? Is it that ugly?
• Nothing to See Here

  Check the wall behind you in the starting area
• Keeper of Keys

  You picked up a key. Don't lose it.
• Janitor

  You picked up 10 keys. You sound like a walking wind chime.
• Key Hoarder

  You picked up 50 keys. You know most doors are unlocked right?
• Loot Box

  You opened a chest. No credit card required!
• Mimic Hunter

  You opened 20 chests. Punching them first doesn't help by the way.
• Getting Stronger

  Double digits! Don't let it go to your head.
• Power House

  You're actually getting kind of scary.
• It's Over 9000!

  Okay, you're definitely hacking.
• It's that Simple

  You killed your first innocent, everybody can make mistakes.
• Serial Clicker

  You killed 10 innocents. Your finger "slipped" ten times? Really?
• Are you smiling for real?

  You killed 100 innocents, it's getting wierd...
• Mass Murderer

  YOU KILLED 500 INNOCENT PEOPLE??? WHY? Those are women, children!
• Prometheus

  You brought the fire! Now don't burn the place down.
• Global Warming

  You lit up 5 fire bowls! Something has changed in the air!
• Vinyl Hipster

  You started the gramophone. It sounds terrible but you insist it has 'warmth'.
• Wasted

  First time? Don't worry, it won't be the last.
• Unboxing Video

  You opened a sarcophagus. 0/10 loot would not unbox again.
• Paper Skin

  You took 100 damage. Maybe try dodging? Just a suggestion.
• Meat Shield

  You took 1000 damage. You have lost more blood than the human body actually contains.
• Refrigerator Logic

  Opening your inventory again won't magically make new loot appear. It's not a fridge.
• Liquid Courage

  You drank alcohol for the first time. It tastes like regret and pixels.
• Happy Hour

  You got drunk for the first time. Responsible drinking is not a mechanic in this game.
• Intervention

  You got drunk 25 times. HR has scheduled a meeting. We are worried about you.
• Deep Thinker

  You stood still for 30 seconds. Contemplating the meaning of life? Or just checking your phone?
• Screensaver

  You stood still for 30 minutes. Nice wallpaper you got there. Is it 4K?
• Strobe Light

  You turned on and off torches 25 times. Trying to start a dungeon rave?
• Near Death Experience

  One hit point left. Do not sneeze.
• Cozy Corner

  You read 'The Bone Song' while sitting. A rare moment of culture in a dungeon full of murder.
• Workplace Hazard

  You jumped down a dark well. Did you really think there was a promotion down there?
• Wrong Lever

  You activated a lever! What's it for?
• Max Leverage

  You activated 29 lever! Why 29? Why not?
• Pizza Money

  You found your first gold stash. It's a start!
• Making it Rain

  1,000 Gold collected. Try not to weigh your character down.
• Filthy Rich

  10,000 Gold collected. Okay, mostly just rich.
• The Midas Touch

  1,000,000 Gold collected. Netflix called, they want to make a documentary about you!
• Piggy Bank

  You placed your first gold piece, I'm sure the bank won't loose it.
• Wolf of Wall Street

  You placed 10 000 gold pieces! Congrtatualation, you now control this game's financial system!
• Passive Income

  Your investment has paid off, enough to buy you a cup of cofee. A digital one at least. If this game had any...
• Insider Trading

  You earned 10 000 gold in interests, but what's you secret? TELL ME!
• The Janitor

  You bought a Scepter of Hygiene. Someone has to clean up this mess.
• Germaphobe

  You bought 25 Scepters of Hygiene. You missed a spot.
• Validation Seeker

  You bought the Ledger of Vanity. Now you can track exactly how much time you are wasting.
• Bad Investment

  You bought the Giant Bone. You just spent a fortune on a dead guy's limb.
• Spoiler Alert

  You bought the Cheat Sheet. Some people like surprises. You clearly do not.
• Personal Trainer

  You bought the Skill Book. Time to turn those polygons into muscles.
• First Customer

  You bought your first item!
• Capitalism Wins

  You bought 250 items. Congratulations you have single-handedly saved the economy.
• Art Connoisseur

  You inspected all the paintings. You are now officially better than everyone else.
• First Date

  You found your first bony friend! Don't ask him out, he doesn't have the guts.
• Skeleton Crew

  5 skeletons found! That's almost enough for a basketball team, if they had muscles.
• Closet Cleaner

  10 skeletons found! You really have a lot of skeletons in your closet, don't you?
• No Body Left Behind

  You found every single skeleton! Honestly, we ran out of bone puns five achievements ago.
• Mandatory Overtime

  You reached the end, but your achievement sheet isn't full. Your PTO is denied. Get back to work.
• Correct Ending: The Shift Begins

  Congratulations on the promotion. Now get back to work.