Here is the full list of all 10 The Stanley Parable achievements. It takes around 25-30 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
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Quit the game and then start it again.
This is an achievement.
Complete The Stanley Parable.
No seriously, we disabled it.
Click on door 430 five times.
Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
It is impossible to get this achievement.