Full list of all 99 You Will Never Get This Achievement achievements. It takes around 5-6 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
You played for 5 hours.
You played for 2 hours.
You played for 1 hour.
You clicked the Joystick.
Nope it's not Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A
You clicked the sadface.
You clicked 1 Million times.
You clicked 910938 times.
You clicked 888888 times.
You clicked 831445 times.
You clicked 774809 times.
You clicked 666666 times.
You clicked 602214 times.
You clicked 500000 times.
You clicked 435975 times.
You clicked 314159 times.
You clicked 300000 times.
You clicked 271828 times.
A friendly fish.
You clicked the icon in the credits.
You quit the game.
You need more information.
You clicked the super secret trophy.
You clicked 138064 times.
You played for 10 minutes.
You clicked 100000 times.
You clicked 91093 times.
You clicked 83144 times.
You clicked 75000 times.
You clicked 77480 times.
You clicked 60221 times.
You clicked 50000 times.
You clicked 43597 times.
You clicked 31415 times
You clicked 30000 times.
You clicked 27182 times.
You clicked 20000 times.
You clicked 15000 times.
You clicked 13806 times.
You clicked 10000 times.
You clicked 9109 times.
You clicked 8314 times.
You clicked 7748 times.
You clicked 7500 times.
You clicked 6022 times.
You clicked 5000 times.
You clicked 4359 times.
You clicked 3000 times.
You clicked 3141 times.
You clicked 2739 times.
You clicked 2718 times.
You clicked 2222 times.
You clicked 2018 times.
You clicked turbo 100 times.
You clicked 2000 times.
You clicked 1750 times.
You clicked 1500 times.
You clicked 1380 times.
You clicked 1337 times.
You clicked 1234 times.
You clicked 1111 times.
You clicked 1000 times.
You clicked 910 times.
You clicked 888 times.
You clicked 831 times.
You clicked 774 times.
You clicked 666 times.
You clicked turbo 20 times.
You clicked 602 times.
You clicked 500 times.
You clicked 435 times.
You clicked 333 times.
You clicked 314 times.
You clicked 271 times.
You clicked 250 times.
You clicked 138 times.
You clicked 100 times.
You clicked 91 times.
You clicked 83 times.
You clicked 77 times.
You clicked -1000 times.
You clicked the wrong button 10 times.
You clicked 60 times.
You played for 60 seconds.
You clicked 50 times.
You clicked 43 times.
You clicked 31 times.
You clicked 27 times.
You clicked 10 times.
You clicked 13 times.
You clicked -500 times.
You clicked the wrong button 5 times.
You clicked -1 times.
You reset your score 10 times.
You reset your score.
You clicked the woman.
Turn the volume to 0.
You found the options.
You started the Game!