Here is the full list of all 81 Top Hat achievements.
Just try to get high.
Task for children.
Is that name enough suggestive?
Patience. That's all.
Learn the history and meet The Ancients.
Show your buoyancy!
Achieve your main goal.
Use your freeze gun cleverly.
Do what you want cause a pirate...
Pass through Happy Hills.
Easy as pie.
Be more useful with your guns.
Stuff got serious.
Just get rid of your enemies!
Show your strength and endurance, boy.
That becomes evil.
When the hell starts to be a cramped place...
This task is only for really bad people, believe me.
I don't even think you will achieve this mad result...
Don't hesitate to use your guns...
For ice lovers.
Grenades are lovely, don't you think?
Disintegration is hell of fun!
Do you plan to open an ammo store?
Make yourself alone.
Incarnation of DEATH.
Show your killing madness!
Profession: kamikaze.
Can you see through the walls?
Some places are just waiting for you.
When saying 'being everywhere' isn't just waste of breath.
Are you able to find EVERY hidden place?
Agility can be rewarded as well.
Weird skills. Are you from Asia?
Take your time and enjoy the levels.
Dance on the stage!
Good men don't need weapons.
Do you know what does the word 'fast' really mean?
Every box has a place for itself.
Hop, hop, hop...
Finding a key is a key to victory.
Opened doors are good doors.
Take care of yourself.
Perfectionism does not kill.
Are you afraid of pain?
Value your life.
Don't let you get hurt.
Do you want to be like a cat?
In this world even epic failures are rewarded...
You aren't fond of undead creatures, am I right?
My preciousss...
*hic* ...ssuuupp?
Chill, man...
Decide what belongs to you.
Money, get away. Get a good job with good pay...
It does not sound that literally, right?
Savegame is for lamers.
Offend Ancient Gods. For fun as always.
Complete ALL your tasks!
The game values loyal players!
Be a patient listener!
Love the game as the game loves you.
Try to guess.
Night is such a beauty time.
Good works are even better when someone pays for them.
Express your tiny, good heart!
Accept some words of wisdom.
Bring some amusement!
Chopin would be proud of you.
Build stairways!
Not a problem for a circus performer, eh?
Did you try to find a secret mode, little hacker?
Come on, script kiddie.
I wonder what does that button do?...
Funny symbols, don't you think?
Time to visit some ancient tombs.
Not too easy, baby?
Just finish the normal mode.
The game hates you.
Show me how you jump.
Meet the real >you<.