Full list of all 11 The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe achievements. It takes around 25-30 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
Don't play The Stanley Parable for ten years.
Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times).
Set all settings sliders in the menu to all the available numbers.
Test achievement description! Replace this!
Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
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Click on door 430 five times.
Quit the game and then start it again.
Complete The Stanley Parable.
Awarded for getting any of the other achievements as your first.
No seriously, we disabled it.