Here is the full list of all 7 The Director's Disorder: Pilot Episode achievements.
"Annnnnnd the award goes to........Coal Westwood! Congratulations!"
"I expected better from you, Coal."
"I'll just have to make do without you, Coal."
"Half measures ain't gonna cut it, Coal. Try harder next time."
"Did you really think they could save you?"
"C'mon Coal, you know you need ID if you're going to wander around the set."
"Huh? Coal? Where are you going?"