Here is the full list of all 18 Paradigm achievements. It takes around 6-8 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
You defended yourself in the way only way you know how.
You collected all the audio tapes.
You installed a virus in IT.
You listened to enough IT advice, you could probably get mid tier IT consulting job.
You high fived the arm one too many times.
You learned some sweet dance moves.
You found the Lich King Dungeon. (Steve's holiday house)
You completed Paradigm. Dope.
You pressed the ad button 10000 times and skipped the puzzle. You also may have carpal tunnel.
You entered the forbidden mouse hole.
You talked to the Man in the Wall.
You bid a farewell to a space cactus.
You used the kvlt code to get the kvlt black metal audio tape.
You dated a noodle hands mutant. Flexibility is a blessing.
You dated a duck-human. The rumours are true.
You dated a toaster. Your buns are now nice and toasy.
You listened to a fridge drop some phat rhymes
You listened to Doug drop some phat beatsies.