8-Bit Bayonetta [Review by Uzzbuzz]8-Bit Bayonetta is a simple 2d button masher by the makers of Bayonetta (duh). It was released on steam for free as an April Fool’s joke of 2017, and it comes with 16 relatively easy achievements, but may increase the risk of carpal tunnel. You can still download it to steam and play for free at
https://steamdb.info/app/567090/But be warned, I do not recommend this game, even for free.
Mechanics/Gameplay - There are two actions in this ‘game’: jump, and shoot. There are two buttons you can assign to shoot, which is recommended to take note of if you want to complete the game, as alternating the shot buttons allows for less delay. Yeah, I can already tell this is going to be a short review since there’s almost no gameplay in this game. The gameplay consists of surviving for as long as you can through the waves of angels. The angels are separated by either a land or air modifier. Land angels walk towards you and swing their axe at you when they get close enough, but can be dodged by jumping (though I wouldn’t recommend doing this with more than one). Flying angels are small flying creatures similar to medusa heads in Castlevania games since they fly towards you but are somewhat annoying to hit. If they reach your side of the screen they will dive at you and there is no way to block them unless you manage to kill them before they get to you.
Honestly, there’s nothing more to the game than just jumping and shooting. 2.5/10
Fun Factor - I did not enjoy this to be frank. I thought it would be an okay short game but after 10 minutes of rapidly alternating keys I had to take a break. To be fair, I was gardening all day and my hands were tired, but it is still a tiring game. There is pretty much no skill involved at all, as all it is is jumping up and down and firing consistently for a few minutes until you get enough kills to reach 13000 score. Bleh. It was not fun. 1.5/10
Graphics/Animation - It looks not half bad. The retro look is nice and it really fits the bayonetta theme. The title screen is just a giant play button so that could have used some polish. The sprite work is nice and clean, as well as the dark haunting backdrop. Most of the animation is done in a few frames , but if the creator had to create each frame then I understand the hard work that goes into even creating a simple loop. Unfortunately, the graphics aren’t amazing, which is to be expected. 6.5/10
Music/Sound - Is there music? If there is, I couldn’t hear it over the constant sounds of myself shooting over and over again in rapid succession. Not to mention the weird death sounds of the angels. 1/10
Replayability - The only replay value you’ll get out of this are the achievements. I wouldn’t bother going for a high score because this game is not a good judge of your skill at all. Anything around 15000+ and you will inevitably get overrun no matter how precise your shots, unless you manage to juggle axe dodges. But, that’s not fun at all. 1.5/10
Level Design - Again...what levels? There is no level design; no platforms to jump on as it’s not even a runner type of game. 8-Bit Bayonetta is just a stationary button masher. 1/10
Achievements - The achievements are actually pretty well done for what little they had as a game. There are achievements for getting within certain score ranges, for specific scores like 0, and for getting over 13000, which is the only somewhat annoying achievement to do.
Then, there are achievements for killing each type of enemy, for killing lots and lots of enemies, for firing often, dying in different ways, and (double) jumping a lot. There is also an achievement for loading the game a couple of times, but it’s not much.
Finally, the most interesting achievements are for dodging lots of axe attacks in one game, which you can do by simply keeping one land angel alive at the end of a wave and dodging his attacks for a while. The other achievement is for maintaining a high rate of fire, which you will probably only be able to get by alternating between the two buttons you assigned to fire really quickly.
Like I said, it’s a decent set for what the game is, and is completed in 30-60 minutes or less if you’re quick. If you do download this, I’m sorry. 5.5/10
Pros:
+Over with quickly
+You can uninstall it
+Free
Cons:
- Everything else
- Carpal tunnel
- No mute button
Overall Score: 2.8/10
1.5