Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Wore all three outfits.
Totaled 30 cars.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Sucked down your own piss.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Survived Friday.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Gained your first dog helper.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Survived Thursday.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Kicked open a door.
Survived Wednesday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Survived Tuesday.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Survived Monday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Read the newspaper every day.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.