Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Survived Saturday.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Read the newspaper every day.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Survived Friday.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Made a very long killing spree.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Wore all three outfits.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Totaled 30 cars.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Survived Tuesday.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Sucked down your own piss.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Gained your first dog helper.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Kicked open a door.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.