Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Survived Friday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Totaled 30 cars.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Survived Wednesday.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Survived Tuesday.
Sucked down your own piss.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Kicked open a door.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Wore all three outfits.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.