Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Totaled 30 cars.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Survived Friday.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Wore all three outfits.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Sucked down your own piss.
Survived Wednesday.
Gained your first dog helper.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Survived Tuesday.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Survived Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Kicked open a door.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Survived Saturday.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Made a very long killing spree.
Finished all seven days.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old friend.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.