New Things I Am Trying
This post is simultaneously a goal progress update as well as a collection of my thoughts about new things I'm trying to play my games more/better (betterer?)
At the end of November I joined TSA and of course I made a declaration to FINALLY PLAY MY GAMES thanks to this wonderful site giving me all the tools and resources I needed. Today I'm writing to say that, yeah, I'm still playing my games, but I'm not really playing them to completion. Since November I've been moving from game to game, no real focus on completion and the only progress I've been making towards the two major goals I set for myself back then has been by happenstance.
I wrote my first ::spoilers ONLY end spoilers:: blog post explaining two goals that would help me use TSA to it's fullest and get through my Steam games. I guess I should say, if you haven't read that post, this is a recurring theme with me so don't get too excited I guess. I get into these moods where I'm like, "Today I change things around and beat all my games before buying new ones!" and that lasts for about a week to a month and then I regress back into my previous bad habits.
I guess it's that time again, because here I am writing a blog post FOUR MONTHS after my first and only, saying how now things are totally gonna change for reals this time. Have we met?
Anyway the first goal was:
A Total of 719 Achievements Won by April 2nd 2016
So an increase of 100 achievements over 129 days from the start date.
My logic for this goal was that upon receiving my Steam Controller at Christmas (which I did! Thanks Sister-In-Law!!) I would use that as motivation to play with my Steam games nearly everyday and aim for about one achievement per day.
Perfect goal scenario: I breeze by the 100 achievements easily, maybe even earning 50-75% more since the Steam controller is awesome and makes me want to play my Steam games everyday.
Current goal progress: 17 days to go / 67% complete
Actual goal scenario: The Steam controller is great, I love it, but I am not playing my games everyday. The first five days after I made the goal were very productive (as they usually are). I racked up 26 achievements over several different games (most of them being the first achievement in unplayed games). That was 25% of the goal completed in 5 days!
Everything fell apart after that. I didn't play again until Christmas Day (so almost a full month) when I received my Steam controller. On the 25th and 26th I earned 22 achievements, which is impressive since it brought me close to 50% of my goal. But it was bittersweet because I knew I had slacked off for a month, and was mainly playing out of guilt since I've been talking about how the Steam controller was going to be me turning a new leaf, yet deep down I knew it wasn't because I hadn't done anything actively to change my habits leading up to receiving it.
Sure enough the next achievement wouldn't come until January 10th, during a casual game of Civ V. By this point, I was playing on Steam regularly, but it was mainly Civ V (which I don't use the Steam controller for).
From Jan-Mar, I gained 14 achievements in Civ V. That's ok I guess, but my time playing Civ the past three months have been super casual. I haven't been actively going for Civ achievements (which I maybe should have). Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly fine to play games to have fun and not achievement hunt or whatever, but for three months I could've been a bit more proactive in trying to make a dent in my Steam games completion percentage especially since I practically wrote a whole manifesto about needing to complete my Steam games.
I should be done with this goal by now. I essentially was halfway done in seven separate gaming days, albeit two of those days there was a month in between where I wasn't playing. Now I have 17 days left so I kind of need to hit about 1-2 achievements a day to reach my goal.
Is it possible?
Sure.
Will I do it?
Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahalolololololololol.
...
I laugh to keep myself from crying.
It's gotten to a point where I don't believe my own words anymore. I play games almost everyday...but I don't have anything to show for it? Should I have something to show for it? I'm turning 30 in a few months...I've been playing games all my life and I have this great mind when it comes to video games but lately I feel like I haven't put all these hours and all these years of gaming to practical use.
Just the other week, my external HDD for my Wii U died unexpectedly. No big deal, all my digital games I can redownload, but I lost the save data for ALL my Wii U games. I actually completed a few of them: Mario Kart 8 I 100% along with the DLC, I beat Wind Waker for the first time and I 200% DKC Tropical Freeze (which was awesome and I kind of am excited in a sadistic way to do again).
But when my Wii U HDD crashed, it reminded me how I lost all my save files throughout the years. I have nothing to show for from my time of gaming from the age of 4-5 except mental knowledge. I've lost all my saved data from all my games across nearly all my platforms one way or another. Whether through a physical memory card failing or selling my cartridge based games in "the dark times".
So when my Wii U HDD crashed, I was like, "welp, let me just order another one and start over"...but start over what exactly? What was I working towards? Nintendo doesn't have achievements, but if they did I'm sure my TrueNintendo Completion Percentage would be under 50%, just like my 360 and Steam scores. Like all my other consoles, I have way too many games for my Wii U unfinished, so starting over isn't too far from starting from the beginning.
And that should be an empowering thought: this time I will do it better! I will have a fresh start and learn from my mistakes.
But I say that every time. I say that in my TA blogs, my blogs on my own website I barely write on and I'm saying it again right now in my second TSA blog. I say it on my youtube channel, which I haven't worked on in over a month. I'll say it again tomorrow, next week, or months from now whenever my third blog on TSA is written.
Because deep down, I know that even if I were to write another blog tomorrow, or a week from now, I don't have the confidence to say that in 6 months time I will still be keeping up with working towards my goals.
Which (finally) brings me to my second goal I created at the end of November:
A completion percentage of 50% by May 31, 2016.
Oh boy. I do know how to set myself up to fail, don't I? This long term goal was made in preparation for the Steam Summer Sale, a time when I always say I shouldn't buy any games but end up doing anyway.
I shouldn't buy any games because I don't end up playing them. Yet I always find a way to justify a new purchase. Maybe I'll tell myself that I'll be more active in an online game because I'll play with others, or I can look at these new purchases as a fresh start.
A "fresh start". Where have I heard that before?
Now 50% was a lofty number, considering my percentage right now is around 26%. But the idea behind it that I would've been close-ish and wouldn't feel so bad about picking up a game or two because I would've developed some solid productive gaming habits by then.
I still have 76 days to go for this one, but I don't know how far pass the current 25% goal completion I'll be by then. Like I said, I'm writing this post now in the vein of "I'm trying new things and for sure they will work this time" but I don't trust myself anymore so ::shoulder shrugs:: we'll just have to see.
So what am I trying to do that's new and different? That's the title of this blog right? Up until now I've been kind of venting, internally weeping as I type because I fear that I am forever stuck in this cycle of never playing my games and always buying more. It's like a bad relationship where you break up and get back together even though nothing's changed, then break up again and get back together, rinse, repeat.
I did play a different game other than Civ V last night. LEGO Movie. With my Steam controller.
Definitely setting the bar low. Giving myself plenty of miles to make the tiniest of baby steps, so I don't get too depressed when I don't hit my goal. But to put away the self loathing for a bit, I played, unlocked a few achievements, and captured everything with my Elgato.
The new direction I'm trying to take is to give myself a purpose in unlocking these achievements. Since TSA is a new site and needs help being growing, I figured now is the best time to enact on those feelings of "what's the point" I've been having lately.
I want to find some good use in recording my games because then I can upload videos for TSA and help fill in the achievement requirements for everything I've personally unlocked.
Yeah I know, not like people really need a guide for LEGO Movie, but let me have this. I need to start small and if I am going to ::cough:: start fresh ::cough:: I need to do something that makes me feel like I am contributing, no matter how small a difference it actually makes.
Because that's the struggle right? I have all these games I need to play, but I don't know where to begin and when I do finally start it doesn't last long and I never finish. So screw it, I'm just going to start somewhere and stick to it. I'm going to do my best to play LEGO Movie all the way through and hopefully I will develop some good habits along the way.
Another thing I want to try, is weekly achievement goals. Again, I have all these games and I don't know where to begin, so instead of adding the first 100 easy achievements to my To Do list and picking one (which is what I did in November) I've decided to randomize one achievement and give myself a week to complete.
Ironically enough, the first achievement that appeared was from Civ V.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY GAMING GODS!?!?
Let's see how this weekly random achievement thing goes. Let's see how this gaming capture and adding solutions to TSA goes. Or playing everyday with my Steam controller. Shoot I've even been thinking of attempting to Stream again, so let's see how that goes. Or blogging more regularly. Or not buying games before I finish some. Or playing my 360 games and getting achievements, or starting my Wii U collection all over.
...
Maybe I have too much on my plate. Maybe I expect too much of my time and will always fail until I realize I need to have better focus and willpower. Maybe the real dark secret is I do have too many games, and I need to pick one platform to play on and stick with that. I don't know. But I'm trying new things. If I fail at those...I guess it's fine. At least I'm trying right? I don't want to stop trying anymore. If I'm not doing half of these things six months from now, fine, whatever, that's nothing new. But I want to be trying even more new things six months from now. Because something's gotta work. Something has to break through.
Right?
Posted by
BeBetterGamer on 18 March 16 at 15:06
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