Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Read the newspaper every day.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Survived Saturday.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Survived Friday.
Made a very long killing spree.
Totaled 30 cars.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Gained your first dog helper.
Survived Thursday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Wore all three outfits.
Survived Wednesday.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Survived Tuesday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Sucked down your own piss.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Kicked open a door.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.