Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Totaled 30 cars.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Survived Saturday.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Sucked down your own piss.
Survived Friday.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Wore all three outfits.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Survived Tuesday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Gained your first dog helper.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Kicked open a door.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.