Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Read the newspaper every day.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Survived Saturday.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Survived Friday.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Survived Thursday.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Wore all three outfits.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Survived Wednesday.
Gained your first dog helper.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Sucked down your own piss.
Kicked open a door.
Survived Tuesday.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Totaled 30 cars.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Made a very long killing spree.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Rescued your loyal companion.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old friend.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.